Kidswise Kidswise Your partner in children’s ministry

#1: The conversation between parent and child about sex/sexuality should begin when children are young and continue through to adulthood. The first messages your child hears about sex can powerfully shape your child’s view. So aim to be the first to talk with them about it. Remember, repetition is crucial.

#2: Discuss the joy of God’s good creation, and how he’s made us male and female - the same but different. And how sex is one of God’s good gifts for to us to enjoy when we’re grown up and married.

#3: As you read, tell or watch stories together. Use them as a springboard to discussing sex and sexuality with your child. There are so many unhelpful stories on TV that give children a distorted view of sex and their bodies. Address the stories your children are being exposed to (e.g. the stories in advertising).

#4: Teach your children delayed gratification - to wait for their turn, to save for the toy, to wait until it’s dinner time. Children who learn to wait for something good, will be better prepared when faced with sexual temptations later on.  

#5: Let your children feel the impact of their choices. Don’t step in and soften the negative consequences of their choices. Children who feel the full impact of their choice, develop the skills and resources to make wiser choices in the future. This is particularly important in the area of sexuality.

#6: Aim to be an “askable” parent. Be open and responsive to questions rather than defensive and negative. If your child feels that you welcome, and honestly seek to answer their questions, they will be more likely to come to you with their more difficult questions.

#7: Be accurate, simple and clear when explaining sexual intercourse, rather than vague and cryptic. Use the correct anatomical words, vagina and penis, rather than slang alternatives.

#8: Talk with your children about their right to say ‘no’ to another person. This can be taught by role playing a family game together and asking your child to firmly say ‘no’ when they don’t want to play anymore.

#9. Teach your child about privacy and modesty from a young age. There are parts of their body that are private. No one is to touch or see those parts except the child, family members when the child is young and medical practitioners.

#10. Teach your child that there’s nothing God can’t forgive. Forgiveness is at the heart of the Christian message. Children need to know that no matter what they do or say or see, because of Jesus, forgiveness is available to all who ask.

Ten Tips by Sandy Galea ©2012 Kidswise

Helpful Resources
How And When To Tell Your Kids About Sex, by Stanton and Brenna Jones(detailed, practical book that raises many issues)
Let’s Talk About Parenting, by Tony and Judy Willis(an easy to read, practical book about raising kids to love and serve the Lord)
God’s Design For Sex Series (a series for books designed to read with your child)
The Story of Me (ages 3-5)
Before I Was Born (ages 5-8)
What’s The Big Deal? (ages 8-11)
Facing The Facts (ages 11-14)

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